The Beginning of the End

Obviously I haven't written a blog in nearly 2 months now, and I do apologize for that.  First I went through a little struggle with writer's block, and then about 3 weeks ago my husband and I separated.  Needless to say my humor level has been a little low.  So today's blog probably won't make you laugh, but I feel the need to write.

About three weeks ago my life was turned upside down by finding out my husband was talking to yet another woman behind my back.  This has happened so many times during our 5 year relationship that it's almost comical now to look back on it.  Why did I let that happen to myself?  Why did I let him disrespect me over and over again?  Now the struggle of trying to posture myself as the perfect little wife is over, and I feel so free.  Free to do the things I want to now without worry that he will disapprove or tease me.  Free to find someone that loves me for the amazingly strong person I am.  I forgot how strong I was, but just to put up with things over the last 5 years took strength.

Now, of course he's already moved on.  Starting a new relationship when the papers aren't filed yet.  I find myself torn about this.  On one hand I feel better without him around.  On the other the crazy and jealous feelings brought up by infidelity over the relationship are still there.  It hurts a little still.  I kind of want to tell that chick that he's not who she thinks, but no one ever listens to the woman scorned.  Ladies, sometimes it's impossible for a man to date that many crazy people in his lifetime.  There starts to be a little truth to the things they say.  I think they should come out with a survey system for dating.  That way you could just look up a person's over all personality, cleanliness, and appearance!  It would save so much time.  I'm not talking about going all Don't Date Him Girl on every person you date.  That's not right.  But one woman's trash is another's treasure.

One woman may consider being wined and dined the type of romance she desires from her mate.  I on the other hand would love a spouse who does little things for me instead.  I would prefer someone to take the garbage out for me everyday or show up at my work to give me a hug over flowers any day.  I've already been married to the guy who will give you anything except love me the way I deserve.  Or simply to know I'm appreciated would be a big step.

At any rate, I will no longer be a Stay-at-home mom anymore.  I'm about to enter the crazy life of a working mother, so I'm hoping that some good material comes from this new direction.  Maybe my blog will be better than ever!  Wish me luck. ;)

The first 3 days: Part 2

As I said before, the flying was the part that I expected to be the hardest. Boy was I wrong. I didn't realize that my son was going to be like a fish out of water for the first half of the trip. He couldn't go to sleep at night. I had to turn all the lights off in the hotel room and just sit there with him on his bed until he fell asleep. This usually took about an hour.

Once he was asleep around 9 or 10pm (which is only 7 or 8 our time) I would lay in bed and watch TV or Facebook until I could go to sleep. I got to sleep around 11pm most nights, so now that I'm home I'm ready for bed around 9 or 10pm. He would sleep well once he was asleep and wake up about 12 hrs later. So that was good, but it didn't seem to improve his mood that much, and it also meant that we missed breakfast at the hotel a lot.

The first day we went to visit my friend Stacy at her house. She babysits 4 other kids under 4 and has her own daughter Nina who is 2. (That seems crazy to me, but she does a good job!) Byron was being okay at first, but the longer we were there the more difficult he was getting. He wasn't being nice to the other kids, and just generally doing things he doesn't normally do. Stacy's daughter wasn't in a good place either, which helped a little (mentally for me.) Byron and Nina kept trading off who got to sit in the Time Out Chair. While we were at her house both kids pooped, and Lillie's was a total blow-out. I had forgotten to throw in an extra outfit, so Stacy was nice enough to give me one of her daughter's baby sleepers. After I had about enough of Byron picking on everyone we decided to leave and go take a drive. I could tell Byron was till exhausted from his cold and lack of sleep the night before our flight. So we drove around looking at familiar places to see how they changed. (The kids fell asleep in a matter of minutes, and this became a daily ritual to keep my sanity. A few minutes of peace and quiet everyday.) Later we met up with my brother and my niece (16 months) for pizza at his house. Byron was a little better, but was still being really pushy with her and not sharing well. Back to the hotel around 7:30, and then we started the nightly struggle to get to sleep.

The next day (Thursday) we were planning to go to the zoo, but even though the temperature was nice it kept showering every so often. So my friend Brooke, her daughter Lily (9 months) and our little troop went to lunch (which Byron didn't eat), and then to the mall. Byron seemed very interested in the little car strollers, and since I didn't bring one with me I went ahead and got one even though I was hesitant. I mean really, $5 to rent a stroller?! Are you joking me? That seems a little pricey. Here is a picture of him enjoying the stroller I paid so much for, and might I just add that this also illustrates his mood the first half of the trip. We thought he would enjoy playing at the indoor play area, but he played about 2 minutes and was done. He liked the cars that you could put 75 cents in to ride, as long as you didn't actually put money in them. He also didn't enjoy the ice cream or $20 wood fire truck I bought him that day.

So here's the thing. I don't normally give in to my kid's every whim. I'm usually much more mean than that, but I was grasping at straws. I needed him to be happy, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get it. Let this be a lesson though, it didn't work. He was still terrible no matter what I let him do. I think he appreciated it more when I started being mean again!

Anyway, for dinner that night we went to a really fun 50's diner called Stella's. You get milkshakes poured on your head, and there is jukeboxes at your table. It's a fun place, but Byron refused to enjoy it. So here is a picture of him yelling at me that he wants to go home and me trying to defuse the situation. He kept trying to squirt me with the ketchup and mustard bottles and I had only one sweatshirt with me.

After dinner (which Byron didn't eat) we went back to the hotel and I decided to try swimming with him. He hasn't been swimming since he was like 9 months old, so I didn't know if he would like it. He fought me the whole way down to the pool, and then once we were there I could hardly get him to leave. It totally changed his mood and he actually ate his leftover fries.

Free Birth Control

We're going on a personal level here, so if you don't like to hear the word sex you might want to stop reading now.
I just had an IUD put in last week, which I really hope works out for me because I cannot take those hormonal birth controls any more. They make me into a crazed psycho who wants to eat everything salty or sweet in my house. Not good for my diet or my marriage. So I'm crossing my fingers it works out!

Anywho, this post is really about FREE birth control. Your other kids! I mean seriously, since we had the new baby it is really hard to find time to have sex. It pretty much has to be late at night after Byron is asleep and Lillie is napping. The problem with that is that I'm more of an afternoon delight type of person, and don't have much energy at night. On occasion I do, but not usually. So I have to try to force myself to give it a try, and I'm not usually disappointed. Unless the baby starts crying mid-action. Nothing kills the mood faster than those tiny wails.

How do people with 4+ children EVER get pregnant again? Seriously! You'd think that between all the stuff you have to do to take care of them, keeping the house clean (we all know this is easier after they are asleep), and you trying to sleep yourself there would be zero time left for sweet lovin'.

That's why I call my kids free birth control, but I guess they aren't really free since I have to feed, clothe and diaper them. You can also put money on the fact that I'm not using that as my preferred prevention method. NO CHANCES TAKEN HERE!

Sugar Babies

Raise your hand if you think sugar makes your kids crazy. (I'm raising my hand!) My husband doesn't think it does. He says that is a bunch of bull that health nuts believe. Riiight honey. Obviously you don't spend all day long with the little guy. I see a noticeable difference in my son's behavior when he eats a bunch of candy. He acts like a crazed Tasmanian devil instead of his normal Tasmanian devil self.
So this leads into today's adventure. We just finished the 3 day Easterpalooza, and my toddler had WAY too much sugar and too little sleep this weekend. I decided to go shopping today. So I put the kids in the car and drove to Wenatchee. (About an hour and 15 min trip.) We have no malls in our town, all we have is Wal Mart. So I wanted to get some variety in our wardrobe. I just bought my son one of those Kid Tough DVD players for a trip that is coming up, and I thought it would be a good idea to take it along. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the batteries were dead, so that lead to tantrum #1. Then he starts in with a case of the NOs.
"Byron do you want some of your milk?"
"NO."
"Do you want your cars?"
"NO."
"Do you want a snack?"
"NO."
"Look at that big truck over there!"
"NO!"
You get the idea. I just tried to remind myself that he had too little sleep and too much sugar this weekend...oh and that he's 2. At this point we're about half way there. He starts thrashing around in his car seat, swaying from side to side, and knocking anything off the seat he can. I was trying not to let my blood pressure go up, but he came pretty close to hitting his 2 month old sister with his detachable cup holder. So it was my turn to yell "no."
Then a stroke of genius came over me. I started scanning through the radio stations looking for a classical one, and VOILA! NPR! I can't believe how well it worked for about 10 min. It really did calm him down. Then he remembered he didn't want to be in the car, and the whining started. I started mentally rolling my eyes at my husband..."No honey, sugar doesn't do anything to him!" HA!
By then we were almost at our destination. A destination (Fred Meyer) that has in-store child care. Just what the doctor ordered! I would sell my left ovary for a Fred Meyer in this town. Whoever came up with the idea of letting a mother shop in peace is a saint!
The trip was totally worth it too, because I went to Fred Meyer, Old Navy, and JC Penney and never got less than 40% off! It was so awesome. I love finding surprise sales. Both the kids slept the whole way home. The silence was golden!