Monday, January 18, 2010

The F word

My son got in trouble at Jazzercise daycare for saying "F***er." I'm so embarrassed. He got that one from me. I've got a bit of a potty mouth. Ok a pretty good one. I'm able to control it in polite company, but when I'm relaxed I really let it go. I was a dispatcher for a trucking company for a while, and that is when I really started cussing a lot. Now that I'm married to a truck driver, well, it's not really helping the situation.


So the daycare lady told me he said that and I did a major face palm. At home when he says those words I say "don't say that it's a grown up word." Obviously that's not cutting it. Besides the fact that I have a really hard time not laughing or at least cracking a smile when he blurts out "oh shit" with perfect timing isn't helping anything. My kids love an audience.

The problem is I don't know if this is irreversible or not. I told Byron that I will try not to say those words if he tries not to say them too. We'll do it together. But it isn't going to be easy! I *heart* the F word. I just do. As a kid I heard both my parents cuss, and my mom has a few stories about how I embarrassed her with my inopportune use of the words. So I guess paybacks really are a bitch. (See I just cussed. DOH!) Then as I grew up I didn't use those words until I was pretty much grown, and if I did it was never in front of adults. So somewhere along the lines I learned how to keep my mouth shut at the right times.

So there's another challenge for myself this year. Stop cussing. Okay, only when I get hurt. How hard is it going to be to not say "OUCH! F**K!" when I stub my toe? That's just a natural reaction. You have to say it then. Or what about when you are carrying a load of groceries into the house and the bag breaks and a jar of spaghetti sauce shatters all over the damn (DOH) place ? You have to say "SHIT!" It's just how it's done. Right? What do people who don't cuss say in those situations? Don't tell me they say "shoot" or "fudge," because those are basically the same thing, or so I've been told. Maybe I'll start saying what Thomas says "CINDERS AND ASHES!" Or how about "CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" Is it acceptable to just say the letter of the word? Like "F that! That's BS!"

So many rules...

Hey I just thought of a good original one "SALT & VINEGAR CHIPS!" "TOILET SCRUBBER!" (That's a really dirty one.) Got any ideas for more?

10 comments:

Grandma said...

Good luck with that!!! LOL! Life long habits are hard to break (visual image of you at Byron's age... at the patio door... in the shopping cart at Goodwill... etc...)

Betsy P said...

You should get a cuss jar. Every time you cuss, you have to put a quarter in the jar. Make a deal with Byron that if he cusses, he has to give up something he likes, like a toy for every word. That way, he has an incentive. Plus, he gets to monitor your every word because he's going to get such a kick out of putting coins in the jar.

Cari said...

Oh honey, I feel your pain, Ireland's fav right now is Goddammit, which she totally got from my mom, but I do have a horrible mouth as well. May I suggest the word Fist instead of the other F word, it's what we use at the casino in order to not get fired by yelling F''k at our douche bag players. Good Luck

Leah said...

Fiddlesticks! Oh man.. when I have kids we are going to have to ship them off at the docks because they will come out of the womb talking like sailors.

Just watch the Simpsons and pick some up from Ned Flanders. :)

The Greenfields said...

I've slipped out a couple that KJ picked up on. Luckily, none of them have stuck and I try really hard not to do it on front of him! I don't think he's picked up on the F word, thank goodness. Just the SH and D words. I go in spurts where I'll just go crazy for a few days (usually if I'm already in a bad mood), but I'm really trying to work on it. Lately, he's just been blurting out butt and weiner, I suppose those arn't too bad considering what could be coming out of his mouth!

Mike said...

Bob Saget!

Diane said...

We have tried really hard not to cuss in front of the kids -- neither of us are really bad at it anyway. but last week my 10 year old took me to task for using the word 'friggin'. She explained that she is offended by hearing that cuss word even if it isn't the worst word, so please stop :) She hasn't got me off of 'crap' though.

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芥末 said...

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