Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Public Display of Discipline

After work today I had to run to Wal Mart after work to get some essentials. For us that would be bananas, cheese and milk.  Also Byron needed some more plastic pants, because he's just finally getting potty trained away from home.  (As long as he's naked he's potty trained, but that doesn't work so well outside of the home.) Anyway, Byron was in a very good mood, and he asked to walk next to the cart instead of riding like usual.  Since he was being good I obliged.  As we walked through the front doors he saw the coin operated games and rides to the left and made a bee-line.  Of course I told him no, and that we had to hurry and get our groceries.  Well, as you can imagine, a melt-down of epic proportions ensued. He was inconsolable.  So I decided to find a spot for a time out.  Right in front the pharmacy is some benches, and I plopped him down, stepped a few feet away and turned to the side.  The kid is just screaming bloody murder and freaking out.  Every person that walks by or is standing near me is staring.  Then this lady walks up to him and says "are you lost?"  I was like "he's just in a time out.  He's fine."  She goes "well public isn't the best place for a time out. You might want to think about that next time."

Okay people what the heck?!  If you don't punish your kids in public you're a bad parent? If you do you're a bad parent?  Make up your minds.  I almost asked her if I should just spank him right there in the store and have CPS swoop in on me like a plague of locusts.  They have so many cameras in Wal Mart they could get it from every angle and plaster it all over the news.  I can see the headline now,"WORLD'S WORST MOM SPANKS SON IN WAL MART!"  Although the bad publicity worked out for the Octomom and Kate Gosslin, so maybe I could ride that to fame and fortune.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dream Come True

I'm going to go ahead and be honest here and let everyone know that when I was married (technically I still am, but I consider myself mentally divorced already) I often "fantasized" about life as a single person again.  Not in a sexual way, so that I could go out and sleep with every guy that I could get my hands on, but in a simplified life kind of way.
For example I have a fairly good sized house, and I would often picture myself in a little house that was nice and cozy, but arranged just how I like things.  That should be coming true in the near future; provided we can sell this one.  I like my house, don't get me wrong, but like I said the word simple comes to mind.

I also imagined that if I didn't have a husband anymore then my house would stay clean more easily.  Now with two kids I'm sure you're all laughing at me right now, but's TRUE.  I have less laundry, less dishes, and the bathroom stays clean much longer.   I don't have socks to pick up off the floor or toothpaste splatters to clean off the wall.  The pillows on the couch stay arranged how I like, and the dish washer gets loaded in an orderly fashion. Now how is it possible that a grown man can make such a mess?  I don't know.  It boggles the mind!  He grew up in a very clean house, and yet I still had to clean pee dribbles off the front of the toilet.  Ewww!

You also may not realize this, but men take up a LOT of free time.  Now that I'm not spending time on nurturing a relationship or sex there are more hours in the day for chick flicks (which I wasn't able to watch) and chocolate.  I can go to Jazzercise any time I want.  I can make whatever food I want for dinner, and there is no one to complain.  Not to mention there is actually leftovers to reheat the next day, so I only have to cook a few times a week instead of daily.  BONUS!

Now if you're happily married, and I do stress the word HAPPILY, please don't think I'm trying to encourage you to leave your husband just so you have more time to read your Twlight books. (Let's be honest...Edward and Jacob never disappoint you emotionally!) But, if you find yourself plodding through your marriage or day dreaming about a little loft apartment filled with Chick Lit and cheesecake...maybe you should let it go.  It's was scary in the beginning, but now I just want it over with so I can move along. :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Beginning of the End

Obviously I haven't written a blog in nearly 2 months now, and I do apologize for that.  First I went through a little struggle with writer's block, and then about 3 weeks ago my husband and I separated.  Needless to say my humor level has been a little low.  So today's blog probably won't make you laugh, but I feel the need to write.

About three weeks ago my life was turned upside down by finding out my husband was talking to yet another woman behind my back.  This has happened so many times during our 5 year relationship that it's almost comical now to look back on it.  Why did I let that happen to myself?  Why did I let him disrespect me over and over again?  Now the struggle of trying to posture myself as the perfect little wife is over, and I feel so free.  Free to do the things I want to now without worry that he will disapprove or tease me.  Free to find someone that loves me for the amazingly strong person I am.  I forgot how strong I was, but just to put up with things over the last 5 years took strength.

Now, of course he's already moved on.  Starting a new relationship when the papers aren't filed yet.  I find myself torn about this.  On one hand I feel better without him around.  On the other the crazy and jealous feelings brought up by infidelity over the relationship are still there.  It hurts a little still.  I kind of want to tell that chick that he's not who she thinks, but no one ever listens to the woman scorned.  Ladies, sometimes it's impossible for a man to date that many crazy people in his lifetime.  There starts to be a little truth to the things they say.  I think they should come out with a survey system for dating.  That way you could just look up a person's over all personality, cleanliness, and appearance!  It would save so much time.  I'm not talking about going all Don't Date Him Girl on every person you date.  That's not right.  But one woman's trash is another's treasure.

One woman may consider being wined and dined the type of romance she desires from her mate.  I on the other hand would love a spouse who does little things for me instead.  I would prefer someone to take the garbage out for me everyday or show up at my work to give me a hug over flowers any day.  I've already been married to the guy who will give you anything except love me the way I deserve.  Or simply to know I'm appreciated would be a big step.

At any rate, I will no longer be a Stay-at-home mom anymore.  I'm about to enter the crazy life of a working mother, so I'm hoping that some good material comes from this new direction.  Maybe my blog will be better than ever!  Wish me luck. ;)