Sunday, April 26, 2009

Quick One

Before I leave I have to tell this little story. Last night I went to a movie with some friends, and when I got in my car it smelled really bad. So I threw all the trash away and figured it would dissipate by the time I got done. But it didn't. So I started thinking about what it could be, and I had a little "aha!" moment.

The car seat...

Anyone who has a toddler knows that there is lots of tiny pieces of goldfish, graham crackers, fruit snacks, etc. that fall down in the cracks of those seats. Well, my son had just spilled a bunch of water in his seat, and it made contact with those crumbs and created some sort of molding situation. So I drug the car seat out of the car and ripped the cover off...(okay not is a complex process of taking the whole car seat apart) and threw it in the wash.

It took me a while to get the car seat put back together once everything was dry. I put the little buckles upside down, and another one backwards. I had to take it apart 3 times. Anyway, now the headrest is stuck! It's in this cock-eyed position and I cannot get it straight. I'm sitting there wrestling with the damn car seat and making no progress. I have one leg up on it, then I tried a knee, then I tried getting it in a scissor lock, and STILL I cannot get the thing straight. I need help! Who makes these things? They need a Geek Squad for car seat troubleshooting.

Hey now there is an idea! *COPYRIGHT PATENT!* You cannot steal my idea to start a car seat geek squad.

Okay now back to packing!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Oh the Horror!

NO, NO, NO! We cannot be sick again! Byron has a terrible cough and a fever of 102.5, and I do not want it! I don't want my baby girl to get it. We all just got over that RSV crud a month ago. We're leaving for Iowa in 3 days. This is a fate worse than death.

Taking care of kids who are sick, while you're sick as well is just horrible! Let alone doing it away from home. I'm really looking forward to this trip.

So, anyway, I probably won't be blogging for about a week. I'm flying to Iowa, and I don't have a laptop yet. So I will just have to remember my funny stories and report back when I get home. There will be funny stories, because I am flying to Iowa ALONE with 2 small children. Have I mentioned before I might be a little crazy?

Write to y'all soon!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

To Potty or not to Potty?

My son will be 30 months (2.5 yrs) next Tuesday. Over the last year and a half I have tried several times to introduce the idea of using a potty. The first time I tried he did great for about 2 days, but then decided he didn't want to use the potty anymore. So now here we are still wearing diapers. I feel pressure as a SAHM to have this taken care of already. Kids younger than him are potty trained already, but I haven't given it another go in months. Here are my current list of excuses:

1) He really doesn't seem interested. He won't even let me change him when he poops yet. *BIG SIGH*

2) We have a trip to go on next week. (This is legit people...I don't want him having accidents all the way to Iowa!)

3) I'm waiting for summer.

4) Potty training is disgusting. This one is a biggie. I am not excited about poop getting smeared all over the place, and my son peeing on his sister. Oh and the worst is when you don't see the poop until it's too late...and you walk in on the dogs "cleaning it up." *GAG* *HACK* *COUGH* *GAG*

I'm trying to get myself psyched up for round 3, but it's really hard. Especially when you see other moms in the store with their toddler and the tot says "mommy potty!" Which we all know means you have like 30 seconds to get them to the bathroom before they have an accident. I saw this lady at the store today with that dilemma. She was all the way over by the groceries, and had to make it half way across the store...I wonder if she did. Better her than me!

But now that I'm writing this I have the strange urge to start trying to train him again. I must be crazy. I better stalk up on M & Ms...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I have a love/hate relationship with our DVR. It is seriously one of the greatest inventions of all time...besides the Internet. You can pause live TV in the middle of it, rewind, watch something over if you missed what they said, or record your shows so if you have to start 15 min's actually a good thing! Then you can skip all the commercials! If you don't own one, I highly recommend it. BUT...

My son now knows that he can watch his shows at any time of day. Instead of me saying "it's not on right now." He knows it's recorded and can watch them at his whim. Now I am being subjected to "Max & Ruby" episodes one after the other until I want to gouge my eyes out.

Don't get me wrong, the thing is great if I need to turn on a show I KNOW will keep him quiet for a few minutes while I talk on the phone, or write my blog. But there is a limit to how many times I can watch those bunnies. Where are their parents anyway? Ruby is maybe in 3rd grade, and Max is a toddler. They have a Grandma, but she doesn't live in the house. It's very odd! My husband (is mean and)says that they got hit by a car. (I know it's horrible, but funny in a sick way.)

Although I have to say he could pick something more annoying. Barney for instance. NOT ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE. No way; no how! That show is evil. The stupid songs get stuck in your head, and the acting is terrible. I don't understand the premise for that show either. They are grade-schoolers (some look as old as 10 or 11) that imagine a dinosaur who sings songs about manners, vegetables, chores, and choo-choos. Yeah, that's likely! You know how much kids love to sing about eating their broccoli & cleaning their rooms!

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to take the annoying parts about the DVR along with the awesome parts.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Been There Done That!

Today was gorgeous! It was close to 80 degrees and no wind. So, I called my friend and asked her if she wanted to meet us at the park. She has a son that is 13 months old. We had fun at the park, and then decided to go get a bite to eat. Of course we were all starving by the time we got to the restaurant, and our waitress took a long time to ask for our order. So the baby started fussing, and I had to nurse her. Then Byron started in on his "I can't sit still" routine. I wanted to scream at the waitress "BRING US FOOD OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES." She finally came and took our order, and brought out the kids soup. Once we started eating the kids calmed down, so we could chat and eat our salads.
When I say calm down it is a relative term according to age. My friend's son is as that age where he throws everything and likes to bang on the table. He got more food on the floor than in his mouth, and decided to take a loud poo while we were eating. You know the usual 13 month stuff! So throughout the meal I kept chuckling about the things he was doing, and assuring her it wasn't a big deal. As moms we have all been there! We get that anxious feeling that everyone in the restaurant is looking at our child and saying "she's a horrible mother!" We're afraid that at any moment the record will scratch to a stop and the whole restaurant will say, in unison, "get that kid out of here."
We've all been there, so I couldn't help but laugh a little. Not because I think it's funny that she is embarrassed, but because I've been embarrassed too. I've wanted to crawl under the table or just walk away and say "I don't know who's kid that is...jeez what a brat!" My husband and I took to leaving an extra big tip when our son created a huge mess of crumpled and spit out food on the floor or if he was just being exceptionally difficult.
It's just par for the course! My time is coming again in less than a year, but I think this time I'll be too tired to care. I'll probably be glad that we're out to eat so someone else can clean up the spit up food. Although, the dogs do a pretty darn good job. My little Hoovers as I call them.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The calm

What is it in your face sometimes that tells your children you are about to snap at any moment? Today my son made me to mad that I couldn't even yell. I was just eerily calm. I came downstairs to this huge mess, and something in side me snapped, but instead of yelling. I went and got my camera and took a picture of it (although the picture doesn't do it justice...every game was dumped out a mixed with the others.) Then I asked my son to come stand in front of me as I kneeled, and look me in the eyes. I explained to him that Mommy was very angry, and he knows he's not supposed to get into those games. Then I told him to go to his room, and get this...he went! He never goes to his room of his own free will! BOY I must have had a crazy look in my eyes. I mean looking back on the whole situation; it's not that bad. I don't know why I was so pissed, but he never gets into those things! He knows better, and he didn't just get into them...he couldn't have made any bigger of a mess. It took me a half hour to sort all that apart. Plus, the baby was screaming to nurse during the whole ordeal which raises my blood pressure to astronomical levels anyway.
The crazy part is that all that aside, I looked at both my babies tonight and felt so much love for them that I wanted to burst into tears of joy. Ahhh's like schizophrenia, but no one gives you medication for it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Free Birth Control

We're going on a personal level here, so if you don't like to hear the word sex you might want to stop reading now.
I just had an IUD put in last week, which I really hope works out for me because I cannot take those hormonal birth controls any more. They make me into a crazed psycho who wants to eat everything salty or sweet in my house. Not good for my diet or my marriage. So I'm crossing my fingers it works out!

Anywho, this post is really about FREE birth control. Your other kids! I mean seriously, since we had the new baby it is really hard to find time to have sex. It pretty much has to be late at night after Byron is asleep and Lillie is napping. The problem with that is that I'm more of an afternoon delight type of person, and don't have much energy at night. On occasion I do, but not usually. So I have to try to force myself to give it a try, and I'm not usually disappointed. Unless the baby starts crying mid-action. Nothing kills the mood faster than those tiny wails.

How do people with 4+ children EVER get pregnant again? Seriously! You'd think that between all the stuff you have to do to take care of them, keeping the house clean (we all know this is easier after they are asleep), and you trying to sleep yourself there would be zero time left for sweet lovin'.

That's why I call my kids free birth control, but I guess they aren't really free since I have to feed, clothe and diaper them. You can also put money on the fact that I'm not using that as my preferred prevention method. NO CHANCES TAKEN HERE!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Sugar Babies

Raise your hand if you think sugar makes your kids crazy. (I'm raising my hand!) My husband doesn't think it does. He says that is a bunch of bull that health nuts believe. Riiight honey. Obviously you don't spend all day long with the little guy. I see a noticeable difference in my son's behavior when he eats a bunch of candy. He acts like a crazed Tasmanian devil instead of his normal Tasmanian devil self.
So this leads into today's adventure. We just finished the 3 day Easterpalooza, and my toddler had WAY too much sugar and too little sleep this weekend. I decided to go shopping today. So I put the kids in the car and drove to Wenatchee. (About an hour and 15 min trip.) We have no malls in our town, all we have is Wal Mart. So I wanted to get some variety in our wardrobe. I just bought my son one of those Kid Tough DVD players for a trip that is coming up, and I thought it would be a good idea to take it along. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the batteries were dead, so that lead to tantrum #1. Then he starts in with a case of the NOs.
"Byron do you want some of your milk?"
"Do you want your cars?"
"Do you want a snack?"
"Look at that big truck over there!"
You get the idea. I just tried to remind myself that he had too little sleep and too much sugar this weekend...oh and that he's 2. At this point we're about half way there. He starts thrashing around in his car seat, swaying from side to side, and knocking anything off the seat he can. I was trying not to let my blood pressure go up, but he came pretty close to hitting his 2 month old sister with his detachable cup holder. So it was my turn to yell "no."
Then a stroke of genius came over me. I started scanning through the radio stations looking for a classical one, and VOILA! NPR! I can't believe how well it worked for about 10 min. It really did calm him down. Then he remembered he didn't want to be in the car, and the whining started. I started mentally rolling my eyes at my husband..."No honey, sugar doesn't do anything to him!" HA!
By then we were almost at our destination. A destination (Fred Meyer) that has in-store child care. Just what the doctor ordered! I would sell my left ovary for a Fred Meyer in this town. Whoever came up with the idea of letting a mother shop in peace is a saint!
The trip was totally worth it too, because I went to Fred Meyer, Old Navy, and JC Penney and never got less than 40% off! It was so awesome. I love finding surprise sales. Both the kids slept the whole way home. The silence was golden!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Public Egg Hunt Insanity

Every year the Lion's Club has a big Easter Egg hunt at one of the parks in our town. This is the first year we decided to take our son who is 2 1/2. Last year we felt he was too young, so we just did a small egg hunt with our family.
Now I had heard stories about this egg hunt getting out of control, but then some friends assured me it just depends on the group that year.
So I was running late this morning, but I managed to make the snacks, and get the kids into the car and on the road by my goal time of 11:30. We arrived at the park about 11:45, and then I ran around the car a few times trying to decide what to do first. I decided to get the baby into the front pack first, and then put the toddler in the stroller. Then I tried to walk as fast as I could to the Egg Hunt area. Did I mention I think I pulled a muscle sometime in there? They should make getting kids in and out of a car an Olympic event. If you're under a time constraint it is one stressful ordeal. I always hear the William Tell Overture in my head as I'm loading the car. But I digress...
So I got there, and I had to ask someone where to go for the toddler hunt. It was just people everywhere and the signs for each section were tiny, and there were people standing in front of them. So I found my friends and we decided to put our kids in the Unassisted section. You read that right. UNassisted. That means the kids are gathering eggs alone. We stand there waiting for the countdown, and then we hear 5...4...3...2...1...GO! So my little guy walks out there and cautiously starts picking up eggs. I was so proud of him and enjoying it, and then it happened. Did I read the sign wrong? Because some impatient parents couldn't just enjoy watching their kids walk around with bewildered looks on their face and occasionally pick up an egg. No they had to storm in there and swipe eggs from the reach of slowly bending UNASSISTED toddlers. A hunt that would have easily lasted 10 minutes took less than a minute. Apparently someone needed whatever little prizes were in those plastic eggs in a bad way. I have no idea what they are, because my kid only wanted the real eggs. (Hey, you have to give the kid credit. He accepts no imitations!) I just sat there with a look of utter disbelief on my face. There was a section for assisted toddlers. Perhaps these people can't read? Or they don't know what UNassisted means? Or they are just rude. I'm going with the last one. All I can say was it was definitely an experience. I might have to spend some time teaching my kid how to throw some elbows for next year! So think twice next year before you swipe the egg in front of any blond 3 year old boys. Muhahahah...

Being a SAHM isn't enough?

Here I am! I'm 27 years old and married with two kids. I stay at home and like to refer to myself as a "domestic engineer." My life is very different than I pictured it would be. You know those surveys your friends forward you that ask you want your life will be like in 10 years. I laugh when I think about what I put on those puppies even 5 years ago.
I thought I wanted to wear power suits, and carry a leather briefcase. My college years were spent aspiring to a glamorous job in Public Relations. My professors said I had talent for it, so I ventured out in the world ready to take it by the tail. HA! Then reality set in, and I had rent to pay. I ended up working for a logistics company. Of course, that job wasn't what I really wanted to do. So I got a new one as a technical recruiter AKA a telemarketer who tries to find computer nerds a job. FAILED! Luckily, by that time I had already met Ryan (my husband) and he moved in with me while I tried to find a job. Long story made short...I never did and we got married and here I am.
So the funny part about all this is I ended up being at home which most people of my generation know isn't ever enough. You see people from the past and they say "what are you doing these days?"
"Oh, I'm JUST staying at home," we reply.
It's never enough. You should be doing more. You should be working and taking care of your kids! There is a stigma against those of us that JUST stay at home.
Well, I spend my days feeding, changing, cleaning, entertaining, educating, and being generally at the beck and call of a 2 year old and a 2 month old. It's enough! I'm freakin' exhausted at the end of the day! How do those working moms do it?
Some moms feel like they need to get out and away from their children or they will go crazy. (Believe me there are times when I understand that need!) In general though I find myself anxious and unfocused when I'm away from my children for too long. I just don't think I would be cut out for the working mom thing. I also feel like what I'm doing is a very important thing by staying home.

So maybe I don't have a job as a PR Executive and a power suit that fits anymore, but I am the boss around here.