Advice From Every Angle

I was watching a rerun of Oprah today all about how rude people are these days. I totally agree, but I think that sometimes we are rude unintentionally. Especially as mothers. I mean, as a mother it's hard not to try to force your ideas on someone else. There is a difference between giving advice, and making the other mom feel like a failure. I have had a few of these recently.

1) Potty training. I already know that my son is almost 3 and isn't potty trained, but for some reason people remind me of this constantly. I will see someone I haven't seen in a while, and they say "did you get Byron all potty trained now?" And I of course reply with "not yet, I've tried everything." "BUT HE'S ALMOST 3, " they say. Really?! I had no idea my son has a birthday coming up. I labored 36hrs to push that kid out of my loins, but can't remember what day it was on. Thanks for reminding me! Besides, it's not for lack of trying! Some children are just stubborn. Mine is one of those stubborn kids. Probably one day he will just walk up to me and say "mother I'm ready to use the lavatory" and we will never look back. In the meantime, I have to hear "BUT HE'S ALMOST 3" every time I see someone who asks me this question.

2) Sleeping through the night. Honestly, like I want my child to wake up every 2 hours to nurse. Again I hear "she's old enough to be sleeping through the night now." Okaaaay, but she's not. What do you want me to do? I'm not going to drug a 6 month old. I don't have the nerves at that hour of night to let her cry for 30 min. I can handle 5 or maybe 10, but I'm too soft to go much longer. "Feed her rice cereal before bed," they say. Sure, if I could get her to swallow it that might help. Which leads me to...

3) Solid foods. At 4 months people started asking me if I was feeding her solids yet. Which I wasn't for 3 reasons. 1) I didn't feed them to my son until 6 months 2) I don't see the necessity in feeding them pulverized rice 3) Nursing is easier. Now that she has reached 6 months I've tried every 1st food without success, until yesterday she wouldn't swallow any of it. Which goes to show that my kids will not be pushed. They will do things in their own time.

I think the same is true for many things about motherhood and family life in general. I have my own little system of things. I only put my kids on a loose schedule. I don't feed solids until 6 months. I think breastfeeding is the bees knees. I put my kids to bed before 8pm if possible. I use a bullpen full of discipline techniques. But, these things don't work well for everyone. So when I give advice I TRY to be nonchalant about it. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, because I'm not.

This is not to say that if I hear a good suggestion I don't try it out. I do! Some work and some don't, but I think delivery of the advice is important.

Mess of the Day

Yep. It's just what it looks like. That's how my day has been. :)

Potty Training SUCKS!

Okay, I'm trying to potty train, but I'm just not good at it. So far all I've managed to train my son to do is pee his pants and put them in a bucket to soak. I mean if you wanna get down to it he is learning when he's wet, and that it's uncomfortable...but not what I was going for. He still isn't asking to go to the potty. On occasion he does ask, but then doesn't go to the bathroom. I've tried taking him ever half an hour, making him clean up his own messes, and bribes. It's not working! But should I just give up and go back?

I thought we had a breakthrough the other day. He asked to sit on the potty and he made a trickle. SO I did the happy dance, and gave him his bribe. Then a few minutes later I left the room for a few minutes to change the baby, and I come back to him "christening" my brand new sit and stand stroller. He was standing on the toddler seat part and just letting go a yellow river! A full bladder pee ladies and gentleman. I made him help me clean it up, but I'm thinking of letting go for a while. Should I keep letting him wear underwear or go back to diapers?

Don't Come A Knockin'

This is a little PSA for anyone that feels the need to come to my door randomly selling anything. I don't care what you're selling. I'm not buying. I have enough to do everyday without having to sit there with my door agape, flies buzzing in, air conditioning escaping, while I try to tell you "no." Why the two letters N and O formed together in a word, explaining my lack of interest isn't enough, I don't know. I have to tell you multiple times. On multiple occasions sometimes! I mean how many times can certain religious groups come by and hear "No I'm not interested?" Maybe they should make a sheet of addresses, and next to the address put "not interested."

At least twice in the last couple of months, said knockers have come to my door and the TV is on, the kids are screaming, and I just ignore it. I see them go to the neighbors house first and I'm forewarned. They make me uncomfortable, and if my kids are screaming it's not really a good time to have a discussion on theology. Is that rude? To not answer my door if I'm too busy? Probably! Even more rude, my kid was yelling "MOMMY LADY AT THE DOOR!!" Repeatedly. But I just ignored it and walked by my windowed door to go change a poopy diaper.

I get a lot of kids coming around to sell things for various organizations. Sometimes I feel it is a worthy cause, and sometimes I don't. I always feel obligated to buy, because it's a child. How many tubs of cookie dough can one person buy? I do not need extra cookie dough sitting around. That's bad news for this lady. Or rolls of wrapping paper? They are tiny rolls and they cost like $7 each! I could buy 2 big rolls at WalMart for that price. I know....I know...it's for a good cause. Maybe. The one that really made me feel bad is the "Jog-a-thon for school supplies." (I pledged okay!) I asked the little girl what kind of school supplies, and she said, "oh you know Kleenex, art supplies, and copier paper." I just kept thinking to myself "how bad is our educational system when kids need to run laps to earn the money for our school to have Kleenex?" Seriously folks, we're having a funding crisis apparently. When I went to school the Kleenex was "free" no running required.

Oh and what about those magazine sales people that are trying to become famous? Is that legit? Cuz back in college I bought a subscription to VIBE from a really hot guy, and I did get my magazines. Two years of a magazine I didn't really identify with much. It just seems kinda shady. Plus, I haven't seen his name in lights yet. Poor dude.

Anyway, the point is...it annoys me when people sell things door to door. So stop it. Or don't, but I'm not answering anymore.