Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Beginning of the End

Obviously I haven't written a blog in nearly 2 months now, and I do apologize for that.  First I went through a little struggle with writer's block, and then about 3 weeks ago my husband and I separated.  Needless to say my humor level has been a little low.  So today's blog probably won't make you laugh, but I feel the need to write.

About three weeks ago my life was turned upside down by finding out my husband was talking to yet another woman behind my back.  This has happened so many times during our 5 year relationship that it's almost comical now to look back on it.  Why did I let that happen to myself?  Why did I let him disrespect me over and over again?  Now the struggle of trying to posture myself as the perfect little wife is over, and I feel so free.  Free to do the things I want to now without worry that he will disapprove or tease me.  Free to find someone that loves me for the amazingly strong person I am.  I forgot how strong I was, but just to put up with things over the last 5 years took strength.

Now, of course he's already moved on.  Starting a new relationship when the papers aren't filed yet.  I find myself torn about this.  On one hand I feel better without him around.  On the other the crazy and jealous feelings brought up by infidelity over the relationship are still there.  It hurts a little still.  I kind of want to tell that chick that he's not who she thinks, but no one ever listens to the woman scorned.  Ladies, sometimes it's impossible for a man to date that many crazy people in his lifetime.  There starts to be a little truth to the things they say.  I think they should come out with a survey system for dating.  That way you could just look up a person's over all personality, cleanliness, and appearance!  It would save so much time.  I'm not talking about going all Don't Date Him Girl on every person you date.  That's not right.  But one woman's trash is another's treasure.

One woman may consider being wined and dined the type of romance she desires from her mate.  I on the other hand would love a spouse who does little things for me instead.  I would prefer someone to take the garbage out for me everyday or show up at my work to give me a hug over flowers any day.  I've already been married to the guy who will give you anything except love me the way I deserve.  Or simply to know I'm appreciated would be a big step.

At any rate, I will no longer be a Stay-at-home mom anymore.  I'm about to enter the crazy life of a working mother, so I'm hoping that some good material comes from this new direction.  Maybe my blog will be better than ever!  Wish me luck. ;)


The Mayer's Blog said...

Sorry for the shit your going through but looking forward to seeing you blossom in the future. We are here for you Anna, whatever you need:)

Anonymous said...

It stuns me what he has done. Who does he think he is to start another relationship, before the papers are signed? A screw must be loose.