What is it in your face sometimes that tells your children you are about to snap at any moment? Today my son made me to mad that I couldn't even yell. I was just eerily calm. I came downstairs to this huge mess, and something in side me snapped, but instead of yelling. I went and got my camera and took a picture of it (although the picture doesn't do it justice...every game was dumped out a mixed with the others.) Then I asked my son to come stand in front of me as I kneeled, and look me in the eyes. I explained to him that Mommy was very angry, and he knows he's not supposed to get into those games. Then I told him to go to his room, and get this...he went! He never goes to his room of his own free will! BOY I must have had a crazy look in my eyes. I mean looking back on the whole situation; it's not that bad. I don't know why I was so pissed, but he never gets into those things! He knows better, and he didn't just get into them...he couldn't have made any bigger of a mess. It took me a half hour to sort all that apart. Plus, the baby was screaming to nurse during the whole ordeal which raises my blood pressure to astronomical levels anyway.
The crazy part is that all that aside, I looked at both my babies tonight and felt so much love for them that I wanted to burst into tears of joy. Ahhh motherhood...it's like schizophrenia, but no one gives you medication for it.
Friday, April 17, 2009